i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
