Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Randomize
