If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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