bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
