Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
birth control should be required to get into college
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
