I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
