Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I understand Curling. That high.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
