Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
