what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
