so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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