If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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