Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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