i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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