Apparently you make a good broom.
I think my fart just growled at me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
