Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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