he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
