We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
