Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
