He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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