We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
