Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
