No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
