she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
