She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
