id be glad to
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
