i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
