Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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