Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
