Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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