Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
