I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
