Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I am spending my child support on dildos
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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