Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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