Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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