I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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