I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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