garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize