I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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