i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
