in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
