i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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