I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
