My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
