The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
