I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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