I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
