Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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