He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
