Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
