How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
