Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
