If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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