oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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