Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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