evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
