i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
people are starting to question the shark bite story
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize