Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I don't deserve a penis
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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