Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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