Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize