i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
