Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
