i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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