hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm passing your future prison.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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